Blink and you’ll miss ‘em, ladies and gentlemen. When you’re as up and down the football Pyramid as The Town, so-called rivalries come and go like prematurely ejaculating Watford managers with an irritable bowel. Next up at Kenilworth Road is an absolute One o’ Them.
Won’t you join me in extending a warm welcome to Cambridge United off-of-the-telly, as they return to little old us down the road, still fresh from their 15 minutes in the whipping Friday night BBC rain.
The U’s, as no one refers to them, are the latest in a lovely long line of fleeting rivalries that appear when you tend to spend your seasons at the top or bottom of leagues more often than in the middle.
Such is our recent lot in league life that ours have tended to be a slightly Tesco Value version of semi-locally reared beef with the likes of Stevenage and Oxbridge, rather than the QPRs and Millwalls of years gone by. It’s a bit annoying, but the Cambridge one is slightly less crap than some of the others, relatively speaking.
This fixture comes with a couple of little bits of extra fun, you see. As the Amber Army drum their prepubescent way into the warm embrace of Kenilworth Road, appearing from the tunnel to take their applause will be the wonderful Richard Money (who once wore the shirt let’s not forget, so don’t be too much of a dick, eh). Always great value and recently able to say our name again, Money’s unique approach to public relations can usually guarantee to make even the nillest of nil-nils newsworthy.
This month Money has in his pocket the Clare Baldingly coiffured object of young Lutonian affections Cameron #CamooonGetMePlea McGeehan.
McGeehan is famous round these parts, not only for getting Conference-winning goals that looked like they hurt, but also for beheading Happy Harry on Trophy day and generally, really throwing himself into this thing of ours.
“We want you so stay” went the song towards the end of his time with us, and if my between-the-lines-o-scope is on the ball, his comments this week suggest he might well be wearing a different colour shirt next time he graces Bedfordshire turf:
"I don't know what’s going to happen in the future, but I'll always be a Luton fan. I'd definitely love to come back and put the orange strip on again, that would be great..." gushed McGeehan.
I imagine that if a Luton loanee ever uttered such words about one of his potential suitors it may earn that player a less favourable dedication in the Luton Song Book, as the seat-slamming and hoarding-booting rumbled down from the stands.
A throbbing Kenilworth Road it is then, lads; should be nice and cosy in the stands as we pointsaholics cram in to dream of three more towards that League One fund. So stand up, shout in the right direction and try not to miss kick-off, eh. It’s Cambridge. That used to mean something didn’t it?
Blink and you’ll miss ’em.